Day 5- Life, Love & the Pursuit of Happiness

Well kids, here we are again.....another failed attempt at a relationship...you know you saw it coming, the writing on the wall. Please don't tell me I told you so. I know I'm a loser at love. LOL But alas! Disappointed and slightly heartbroken I most move on and instead of dwelling on my insecurity and replaying what went wrong over and over (and over) in my mind I think it is necessary to be thankful for what I've learned so far. So today's blog is dedicated to love. The admiration of a lifelong love, the appreciation of love lessons, the and the pursuit of true love.

1. Lifelong Love-My parents just celebrated their 32nd marriage anniversary on Thursday. 32 YEARS! I'm so proud of them. I'm proud to have parents who have stayed married and fought it out all of these years. I've learned so much from them and watching their marriage. They rarely if ever agree on the same thing at the same time. I always had this image in my mind of some guy sweeping me off my feet and it all being rainbows and butterflies.WRONG! I dont even know where this ideal came from. No one I know who is in a successful marriage agrees on all of the same things. Is that even normal? I love that they can still challenge each other, laugh at each other's stupid jokes (or my dad's pathetic attempt to use slang words), and be there for their children & grandchildren. I'm thankful for the example they have set for me. They credit the success of their marriage on God. They have learned to lean on God together and by His grace they can give grace to each other.

2. Lessons in Love- It seems like I'm getting better at looking for the silver lining in failure. LOL. In all seriousness, how many times do we have to fail at love to find the one? If there is only one for us then everyone else most be the wrong ones, right? The most recent failed attempt taught me that I can't always get what I want (queue rolling stones)...and there are differences in WANTS and NEEDS. ...go figure.  I had to figure out what I needed verses what I wanted or thought I wanted and then not settle for less than the things that I need (I'll grow up someday). I think most people hold on to the wrong ones because they are afraid to be alone, or to fail. I can't do that. When things are in limbo it makes me crazy-like bat crazy (which then probably most definately pushes the guy away even more). I'd rather be single then in a holding pattern with someone who doesn't want or cannot commit to me. The hardest part of this is not letting myself get too far with the wrong one or learning to take it slow with the right one. Admitting sooner in the relationship that this person may be funny, cute, successful (or any combination of the above) but completely wrong for me in so many ways and not able to meet my needs (which are basic needs at best). Either way, I'm thankful for the lessons I learn each time. I can choose to be a failure at love or take little nuggets from each relationship and move on. I'm choosing to take my nuggets and run.

3. Safety nets- I'm so thankful that I have great friends and family who have helped me figure this out, encourage me, and BELIEVE in me. I'm convinced that without them I would have some seriously high therapy bills. Seriously. I know now why all my married friends cherish and value their friendships so much. I think I always took my "girl time" for granted because, being single for several years now, all I've had is girl time. However, I realize how important it is to have your support system there when you need to vent, want to cry, and need someone to save you from yourself. Plus-who else are you going to share that bottle of wine with.  

4. & 5.  The pursuit of love & matchmakers (this definately counts as two things) - So the day after my last failure and I ended things for good,  my friend Melissa and I had made lunch plans. While we were having lunch, we had a lady approach our table and tell us how cute we were and wanted to know if we are single (God Bless her heart). Turns out she is a professional matchmaker....I'm thinking, is this a joke? Did someone set me up? Am I being punked? Nope-she's for real.  Like Million matchmaker real. JACKPOT! Timing is everything. Who knows-this could be fate or another terrible decision on my road to love but fear not-I will be sure to blog about my experience in matchmaker land. Either way I'm thankful for the matchmaker lady, her stalking me at lunch, and the laughs I was able to get from the experence so far. Definately another chapter in the pursuit of true love and happiness....and I'm definately not ready to throw in the towel just yet.